For 19 whole months (where parts of it seemed to drag on for FOREVER) Addison has been pretty much a momma's girl. When she would fuss she wanted me, and of course in the beginning, if you are nursing they not only want you but they NEED you as their mom. I remember all the sleepless nights just praying that she would let Chris put her down or that she would let him hold her while I just sat alone and drank my coffee.
Now don't get me wrong she has grown to crave her daddy too. I mean when he comes home from work before all this started, he couldn't even come in and pee without her screaming for him to pick her up. She totally misses him when he goes away, but still, during the day she was attached to me.
Enter COVID-19.
Chris is home working, and Addison is SO happy to see him home more. As am I, but it's different now. Yesterday, Chris was on his morning zoom meeting calls (which last about 3 hours) and Addison sat outside his office crying screaming for him. I couldn't distract her with toys, books, snacks, going upstairs...nothing worked. I listened to her cry on and off all morning. Chris opens the door to come out from his calls and she runs over to him BEYOND happy and all is well in the world. The same thing happened last night. Woke up crying...I went in to snuggle her and rocker back to sleep...but she wouldn't let me. Fifteen minutes later Chris comes in to see how he can help....she holds out her arms for him and as soon as she was in his arms she lays her head on his shoulder and passes right back out in the rocking chair.
She's has become a Daddy's Girl.
Now, I say all of this to now enter the world's WORST mom guilt and sadness! WHAT?!
I was laying in bed while Chris was rocking her feeling awful that I couldn't help him at all today. That he had to help her every time she lost it. That he was losing sleep (I mean I was too because I was just laying there THINKING) but still he was in there with her, and I felt like it should be me. On top of that, I WAS SAD! This just blows my mind because I have been PRAYING for a Daddy's Girl since I found out Addison was a girl! Now that it's here I feel not needed, and not special :-( Which as I type this I feel like I sound CRAZY!
Does anyone else feel this way? Please tell me I am not alone, and give me some advice or just words of wisdom <3
